diff --git a/lix/lix-doc/meson.build b/lix/lix-doc/meson.build
index 81ae07fec..933f1b0ed 100644
--- a/lix/lix-doc/meson.build
+++ b/lix/lix-doc/meson.build
@@ -3,22 +3,31 @@ rowan = dependency('rowan-0.15-rs')
 
 rust = import('rust')
 
+# This hack is required by the wombo combo of meson bugs:
+# Meson does not set the soname for us: https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/13537
+# Meson ignores link_args for Rust targets: https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/13538
+lix_doc_rust_args = [
+  # link-arg=-soname has no effect when building a static lib,
+  # since the linker is never actually invoked.
+  '-C', f'link-arg=-Wl,@soname_arg@,liblix_doc.@dylib_suffix@',
+]
+
 lix_doc = static_library(
   'lix_doc',
   sources : files('src/lib.rs'),
-  rust_abi : 'c',
   dependencies : [
     rowan,
     rnix,
   ],
-  # If an installed static library depends on this target, then Meson will force
-  # that to link with `-Wl,--whole-archive`, unless we also install this target.
-  # `-Wl,--whole-archive` can cause some Problems when linking multiple nested
-  # static libraries, so let's just install the damn thing.
-  install : is_static,
+  rust_args : [
+    # Empty when default_library=static
+    rust_dynamic_args,
+    lix_doc_rust_args,
+  ],
 )
 
-liblix_doc = declare_dependency(
+# NOTE: this dependency object is only used for `rust_monocrate`
+liblix_doc_internal = declare_dependency(
   link_with : lix_doc,
 )
 
diff --git a/lix/meson.build b/lix/meson.build
index ac411679c..207fcb1a7 100644
--- a/lix/meson.build
+++ b/lix/meson.build
@@ -25,6 +25,13 @@ install_headers(config_h, subdir : 'lix')
 # Subcomponents: these link into artifacts themselves, and have interdependencies.
 subdir('lix-doc')
 
+subdir('rust-monocrate')
+
+# liblix_doc is actually rust-monocrate in a trenchcoat.
+liblix_doc = declare_dependency(
+  link_with : rust_monocrate,
+)
+
 subdir('libutil')
 # Load-bearing order. libstore depends on libutil.
 subdir('libstore')
diff --git a/lix/rust-monocrate/Cargo.toml b/lix/rust-monocrate/Cargo.toml
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..53c2f5745
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lix/rust-monocrate/Cargo.toml
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+# This may not actually build with Cargo, but exists to help Meson and to manage lockfiles.
+[package]
+name = "rust-monocrate"
+edition.workspace = true
+
+[lib]
+crate-type = ["staticlib"]
+lix-doc = { path = "../lix-doc" }
diff --git a/lix/rust-monocrate/README.md b/lix/rust-monocrate/README.md
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..1cbcb552a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lix/rust-monocrate/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
+# What the hell is this?
+
+This is a cursed solution to the intersection of the following problems:
+
+- Lix is separated into multiple libraries, which are intended to be buildable as dynamic/shared libraries *or* statlic libraries.
+- Those libraries are linked into the Lix executable binary.
+- Static libraries also statically link their library dependencies.
+- We want to be able to use Rust code in multiple places in the codebase.
+- Meson has poor support for Rust and non-Rust sources in the same target, with [internal errors](https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/15435) preventing mixed targets from linking against non-mixed targets.
+- Linking more than one Rust `crate-type = staticlib` is [unsupported](https://github.com/rust-lang/rust/issues/44322) with Rust's standard library.
+- Meson [does not support dynamically linking the Rust standard library for `crate-type = staticlib`](https://mesonbuild.com/Release-notes-for-1-9-0.html#new-experimental-option-rust_dynamic_std).
+- Meson [ignores `link_args` for Rust targets](https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/13538)
+- Meson [does not set soname of Rust cdylibs](https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/13537)
+
+So! What do we do? For any Rust code that Lix wants to use, we always link to a single crate, which will reëxport Rust code from any crate (in-tree or out-of-tree) we wish to use.
+This "monocrate" is *always* built as a static library, and anything in Lix that depends on Rust code will statically link it in.
+When the Lix executable is linked against Lix libraries that are built statically, we do *not* `link_whole` them.
+As far as we::Qyriad can tell, this is sufficient to not break everything.
+But long-term, we should probably solve this problem by migrating to Rust code at top-level, and having Rustc do the final link.
diff --git a/lix/rust-monocrate/meson.build b/lix/rust-monocrate/meson.build
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..71a94726c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lix/rust-monocrate/meson.build
@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
+# This crate is what ultimately links to Lix. All other Rust crates Lix uses must go through this.
+
+rust_monocrate_sources = files(
+  'src/lib.rs',
+)
+
+rust_monocrate = static_library(
+  'rust_monocrate',
+  rust_abi : 'c',
+  sources : rust_monocrate_sources,
+  dependencies : [
+    liblix_doc_internal,
+    rnix,
+    rowan,
+  ],
+  # If any installed target links against a static library,
+  # the static library must also be installed.
+  install : true,
+)
diff --git a/lix/rust-monocrate/src/lib.rs b/lix/rust-monocrate/src/lib.rs
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..480f7504c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lix/rust-monocrate/src/lib.rs
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+//! This is a hack that forces Rust to link all the Lix libs as a single static
+//! library for usage when building Lix itself in static mode.
+//!
+//! The reason for this is that Rust does not support linking multiple
+//! staticlibs into one executable, as it will jam a libstd into every single
+//! one of them. This is ridiculously goofy because it would be trivially
+//! solved by linking libstd separately.
+//!
+//! https://github.com/rust-lang/rust/issues/44322
+//!
+//! It re-exports all the symbols that should be exported to C++.
+pub use lix_doc::*;
diff --git a/meson.build b/meson.build
index 9cb181546..523bcd542 100644
--- a/meson.build
+++ b/meson.build
@@ -223,6 +223,14 @@ is_darwin = host_machine.system() == 'darwin'
 is_freebsd = host_machine.system() == 'freebsd'
 is_x64 = host_machine.cpu_family() == 'x86_64'
 
+# Meson knows these, but won't tell us. We need them to hack around some linker shenanigans.
+# See the 'Rust Support' section below.
+if is_darwin
+  dylib_suffix = 'dylib'
+elif is_linux
+  dylib_suffix = 'so'
+endif
+
 # Per-platform arguments that you should probably pass to shared_module() invocations.
 # Something like add_project_arguments() can't be scoped on only shared modules, so this
 # variable is here instead.
@@ -238,6 +246,30 @@ elif is_linux
 endif
 configdata = { }
 
+#
+# Rust Support
+#
+
+if is_static
+  rust_dynamic_args = []
+else
+  rust_dynamic_args = ['-C', 'prefer-dynamic']
+endif
+
+# This hack is required by the wombo combo of meson bugs:
+# Meson does not set the soname for us: https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/13537
+# Meson ignores link_args for Rust targets: https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/13538
+# Thus we have to, when the build is dynamic, pass these in rust_args to make it link properly.
+if cxx.get_linker_id().startswith('ld64')
+  # Rust actually sets the -install_name if you pass -C rpath=yes on macOS targets (?!):
+  # https://github.com/rust-lang/rust/blob/2a8af4f7c8262a90b886bc063fe0c271d2b51a45/compiler/rustc_codegen_ssa/src/back/linker.rs#L441-L445
+  # https://rust-lang.zulipchat.com/#narrow/channel/182449-t-compiler.2Fhelp/topic/libstd.2C.20rpath.2C.20dylibs.20and.20packaging
+  # This seems like a bug, so let's keep passing it deliberately.
+  soname_arg = '-install_name'
+elif cxx.get_linker_id().startswith('ld')
+  soname_arg = '-soname'
+endif
+
 #
 # Dependencies
 #
@@ -404,6 +436,7 @@ endif
 # Build-time tools
 #
 dot = find_program('dot', required : false, native : true)
+cbindgen = find_program('cbindgen', native : true)
 pymod = import('python')
 python = pymod.find_installation('python3')
 
diff --git a/package.nix b/package.nix
index bd3a5e80d..c301e37d3 100644
--- a/package.nix
+++ b/package.nix
@@ -50,6 +50,7 @@
   rapidcheck,
   removeReferencesTo,
   rustPlatform,
+  rust-cbindgen,
   rustc,
   sqlite,
   systemtap-lix ? __forDefaults.systemtap-lix,
@@ -339,6 +340,7 @@ stdenv.mkDerivation (finalAttrs: {
     meson
     ninja
     cmake
+    rust-cbindgen
     rustc
     capnproto
     # Required for libstd++ assertions that leaks inside of the final binary.