diff --git a/tests/functional2/testlib/fixtures.py b/tests/functional2/testlib/fixtures.py
index 1f136f449..fa00e3e58 100644
--- a/tests/functional2/testlib/fixtures.py
+++ b/tests/functional2/testlib/fixtures.py
@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@ import subprocess
 from typing import Any
 from pathlib import Path
 from functools import partial, partialmethod
+from functional2.testlib.terminal_code_eater import eat_terminal_codes
 import dataclasses
 
 
@@ -33,6 +34,26 @@ class CommandResult:
                                                 output=self.stdout)
         return self
 
+    @property
+    def stdout_s(self) -> str:
+        """Command stdout as str"""
+        return self.stdout.decode('utf-8', errors='replace')
+
+    @property
+    def stderr_s(self) -> str:
+        """Command stderr as str"""
+        return self.stderr.decode('utf-8', errors='replace')
+
+    @property
+    def stdout_plain(self) -> str:
+        """Command stderr as str with terminal escape sequences eaten and whitespace stripped"""
+        return eat_terminal_codes(self.stdout).decode('utf-8', errors='replace').strip()
+
+    @property
+    def stderr_plain(self) -> str:
+        """Command stderr as str with terminal escape sequences eaten and whitespace stripped"""
+        return eat_terminal_codes(self.stderr).decode('utf-8', errors='replace').strip()
+
     def json(self) -> Any:
         self.ok()
         return json.loads(self.stdout)
diff --git a/tests/functional2/testlib/terminal_code_eater.py b/tests/functional2/testlib/terminal_code_eater.py
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..675d34d3c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/functional2/testlib/terminal_code_eater.py
@@ -0,0 +1,76 @@
+# copy pasta from libutil-support's terminal-code-eater.cc
+
+import enum
+import dataclasses
+
+
+class State(enum.Enum):
+    ExpectESC = 1
+    ExpectESCSeq = 2
+    InCSIParams = 3
+    InCSIIntermediates = 4
+
+
+@dataclasses.dataclass
+class TerminalCodeEater:
+    state: State = State.ExpectESC
+
+    def feed(self, data: bytes) -> bytes:
+        is_param_char = lambda c: c >= 0x30 and c <= 0x3f
+        is_intermediate_char = lambda c: c >= 0x20 and c <= 0x2f
+        is_final_char = lambda c: c >= 0x40 and c <= 0x7e
+
+        ret = bytearray()
+        for c in data:
+            match self.state:
+                case State.ExpectESC:
+                    match c:
+                        case 0x1b:  # \e
+                            self._transition(State.ExpectESCSeq)
+                            continue
+                        case 0xd:  # \r
+                            continue
+                    ret.append(c)
+                case State.ExpectESCSeq:
+                    match c:
+                        # CSI ('[')
+                        case 0x5b:
+                            self._transition(State.InCSIParams)
+                            continue
+                        # FIXME(jade): whatever this was, we do not know how to
+                        # delimit it, so we just eat the next character and
+                        # keep going. Should we actually eat it?
+                        case _:
+                            self._transition(State.ExpectESC)
+                            continue
+                # https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ANSI_escape_code#CSI_(Control_Sequence_Introducer)_sequences
+                # A CSI sequence is: CSI [\x30-\x3f]* [\x20-\x2f]* [\x40-\x7e]
+                #                        ^ params     ^ intermediates ^ final byte
+                case State.InCSIParams:
+                    if is_final_char(c):
+                        self._transition(State.ExpectESC)
+                        continue
+                    elif is_intermediate_char(c):
+                        self._transition(State.InCSIIntermediates)
+                        continue
+                    elif is_param_char(c):
+                        continue
+                    else:
+                        raise ValueError(f'Corrupt escape sequence, at {c:x}')
+                case State.InCSIIntermediates:
+                    if is_final_char(c):
+                        self._transition(State.ExpectESC)
+                        continue
+                    elif is_intermediate_char(c):
+                        continue
+                    else:
+                        raise ValueError(f'Corrupt escape sequence in intermediates, at {c:x}')
+
+        return bytes(ret)
+
+    def _transition(self, new_state: State):
+        self.state = new_state
+
+
+def eat_terminal_codes(s: bytes) -> bytes:
+    return TerminalCodeEater().feed(s)
diff --git a/tests/unit/libutil-support/tests/terminal-code-eater.cc b/tests/unit/libutil-support/tests/terminal-code-eater.cc
index ac4fbe980..83be1a136 100644
--- a/tests/unit/libutil-support/tests/terminal-code-eater.cc
+++ b/tests/unit/libutil-support/tests/terminal-code-eater.cc
@@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
+// this file has a hissing snake twin in functional2/testlib/terminal_code_eater.py
 #include "terminal-code-eater.hh"
 #include "lix/libutil/escape-char.hh"
 #include <assert.h>
@@ -39,6 +40,8 @@ void TerminalCodeEater::feed(char c, std::function<void(char)> on_char)
         case '[':
             transition(State::InCSIParams);
             return;
+        // FIXME(jade): whatever this was, we do not know how to delimit it, so
+        // we just eat the next character and keep going
         default:
             transition(State::ExpectESC);
             return;